


My life is a mess

by Niky30



Category: Grey's Anatomy, Station 19 (TV)
Genre: Break Up, Drama & Romance, F/F, Falling In Love, Heartbreak, Love, Makeup, Open Relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 03:41:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29343759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Niky30/pseuds/Niky30
Summary: Carina and Maya are having a rough time. It will takes time for them to fix things and to go back the way they wre...A lot of drama, break up but good ending
Relationships: Andy Herrera & Victoria Hughes, Maya Bishop & Carina DeLuca
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language. Thank you

**Maya's POV**

I'm sitting at the bar with Andy and Vicky, having a few shots.

"So what happened with you and Carina? Last night you guys seemed pretty tense with each other" Andy asks and Vicky nods.

"We just got into another fight because she wants me to go to therapy with my mom but i refused" i shrug my shoulders and swallow another shot.

"Well, maybe she's not w-" Vicky starts but stops as soon as she sees my face.

"I don't see what's the problem with that. I mean, yes your mom made a mistake about all the things that happened between you and your father. But somehow, you'll have to stop avoiding her and talk to her" Andy adds and I chuckle bitterly.

"I.don't.give.a.fuck.about.her! Is it so hard to understand?" I spit every word with venom.

"Ok,ok...fine" She raises her hands in surrender.

"Now, let's enjoy the night, please" they smirked.

**Next morning…**

My alarm rings and I groan in pain.

"Can you...turn that off" Vicky grumbles, putting the pillow over her head. I snooze before I look at the time. Shit!

"Fuck...i am so late!" I jump out of bed.

"What?" She mumbles.

"It's 10am, Vicky! So get your butt out of my bed!" She groaned but didn't move. I roll my eyes and make my way to the bathroom. I run downstairs,grab a bottle of juice and a bagel, put my glasses on and put on my coat.

"YOU BETTER LOCK THE DOOR ON YOUR WAY OUT!" I scream from the stairs before I turn around and leave. And before you guys say something, no I did not sleep with my best friend. No! Just, ew!

**Hospital**

As soon as I get inside, I walk to the locker room to put my uniform on. I was in a hurry andI hurt my fingers by accident on the door. I yell in pain.

"Fucking shit!" I hiss at myself as I make my way outside the locker room to Dr. Bailey's room. As soon as I opened the door, everyone turned to look at me. Except Carina who was busy writing.

"Miss. Bishop! You're late again, from.." she looks down at her watch before she looks back at me with an angry face. I see from the corner of my eyes Carina. She stopped writing but didn't make a single move to look at me.

" 2 hours! May i know what's your excuse this time?" She hisses, crossing her arms over her chest. I swallow hard.

"Erm...i...forgot to put my alarm and -" i lie and she raises a hand to stop me from talking.

"I think that you had too much fun last night and didn't think about the work you might have the day after! We will talk after this meeting!" She informs, looking at me straight in the eyes. At this time, I knew I was in big trouble. I think Carina might have felt it too, because she turns to look at me for a second before turning her head away. 

After the meeting, Bailey asked me to stay. We talked for about 15 minutes before she decided to put me on desk duty for a week. I was very pissed about it but didn't argue with her. It was that or i get suspended for a week. I groan impatiently while I'm searching through some files.

"Are you looking for something?" Amelia walked in.

"Yea...i can't find Mr. Dee files." I sigh and turn around. She looks at me curiously before handing me a cup of coffee.

"Looks like Bailey didn't tell you" she takes a sip from her coffee to avoid looking at me. I frown and cross my arms over my chest.

"Tell me what"

"Well she knew she was gonna put you on desk duty. So she gave the patient to Carina" she mumbles the last part. I laugh bitterly.

"Of course she did" I mumble angrily and she sighs before closing the door.

"So, you want to tell me what is going on with you two? " she asks and I roll my eyes.

"No, not really. There's nothing to talk about. People need to understand that what is going in my love life doesn't concern them" i reply and she raises her hands in defense.

"Ok, ok...i got it. Sorry for asking" she mumbles and i sigh.

"It's fine...now sorry but i have some files to fill up" I groan and she laughs.

**5pm (after work)**

After work, I left immediately. I was thinking about going straight home but something in my mind kept telling me that I should stop by Carina's. I stop the car and stay in it for what seems forever. Asking myself if i should go and talk to her or not.

15 minutes later, I sigh before I get out of the car and make my way to her house. I knock twice on the door before I hear footsteps. She opens the door and stares at me. She was wearing a tank top with a small shirt and a glass of wine in her hand.

"Maya...what are you doing here?" She asks. I don't know if she was surprised or in shock to see me here but she was being weird.

"Hey...i thought i'd stop by so….i can apologize for the other night" i say. She frowns and closes the door behind her.

"You've been avoiding me for 2 days. And now what? You just thought it was better to show up at my door just like that" she says coldly.

"I know that what I did was wrong but i'm here right now. I want to make things right, ``I explained softly.

"You never stick to your words, Maya! Everytime we have a fight or there's some issues with your family, you shut me out and won't talk to me for days!" She hisses softly before she gets closer, her arms crossed over her chest " so tell me how am i supposed to believe a word that you saying and that you won't go running away?" She looks at me in the eyes. 

"I don't know...the only thing I can say is that I love you and I will do anything to fix my problems," I answered, holding back my tears. She grabs my hand.

" then go to therapy with your mom" as soon as she says this, I pull my hand away. Anger was coming up.

"You...you can't ask me to do this! I will agree on anything else but this. We are not married, you cannot get into my family business and try to fix our problems" i yell. She stares at me and nods before she lets out a bitter laugh.

"Then i think we are done here" she spits and i laugh bitterly as i step back from the porch.

"Carina c'mon...i -" and "Slam". She just slammed the door on my face. Tears were now running down my face as I stared at the door. I jumped into my car and made my way back home. As soon as I get home, I jump into the shower. I get out and make my way to my room to out my pj's on.

**5 months later…**

I texted her everyday. I called everyday. Show up at her house. Nothing. Not a single answer. Even at work, she asked Bailey to change the team. I was getting fed up, angry and obsessed about all this. I was meeting with the girls at the bar after our shift. I sit at the bar and order my usual ; whiskey. I take a long sip before Vicky walks in with Andy and Amelia.

"How come you are already starting without us!" Andy exclaims before she removes her coat and sits beside me. 

"Well, we are 30 minutes late. And knowing Bishop, she lost patience" Amelia smirks before she sits beside Andy. I snorted.

"And I already paid for all your drinks" we laughed.

"How was the day at work?" I ask them.

"Fine" Andy and Vicky answered.

"I had a patient who just got cancer...a kid" Amelia whispered, staring at her glass before she swallowed it. Vicky squeezes her hand.

"I'm sorry to hear that...must be hard for the parents," Andy says and Amelia chuckles bitterly.

" believe me when i say to parents we're nowhere to be seen! They tried to reach them but nothing" 

"What kind of parents do that?" Vicky retorts. I chuckle.

"The kind of parents who regret having you" I mumble and swallow a shot. They all stare at me.

**Later that night…(1am)**

We were all pretty drunk right now. Vicky and Andy we're both dancing with some girls. Amelia was nowhere to be seen as usual. I sigh before I pay the bartender and make my way back to our table. I sit there, looking around at the people until my eyes freeze. Carina. She was at a table with some friends from our work. I don't know why but i'm feeling jealous and sad that she avoided me for months but is still hanging with people from work. I wait till she stands up and makes her to the bathroom. I stand up and follow her. It was the only way I could get her to talk to me. As soon as she entered the bathroom, l locked the door behind us.

"What the h-" she turns around and freezes. I can tell she was angry.

**"** Get out of my way Maya" she tried to pass through me but I blocked her.

"I can't let you do that. I sent you many texts and called you many times. You've avoided me for 5 months! Don't you think we should try and have a real conversation - " i start angrily. I was drunk and my state wasn't helping at all.

"A real conversation? How does it feel to be ignored for months, huh?" She laughs bitterly. I don't answer.

"I saw your texts and calls but just like you, I needed space and didn't want to answer you. " she spits.

"So what? This is revenge for what I did? Can we both act like normal adults and fix this." I spit back, slurring my words.

"Maybe it is, I don't know" she shrugs her shoulders.

"Cut the crap, Carina! We both know that you want to fix this as much as i do" i get closer to her. She was stuck between the door and i.

"You're drunk and i'm not having this conversation with you right now. I have people waiting for me" she tries to move but i slam my hand against the wall beside her head.

"They can wait," I hissed. We stared angrily at each other before she pushed me. 

"You think you can tell me what to do? You have issues, Maya and you won't admit it! For you, there's nothing wrong but i can see it and can tell that you need some fucking help! You need to work on your fucking self and fix your issues with your mom! Because if you don't, it might be too late for both of you. And yes, i want you to fix things with your family first before you think about us" she screams. I step back, clenching and unclenching my fists. Before I have the time to say something someone get out of the cubicle.

"I didn't want to hear everything but it was too late for me to get out" Amelia rambles. Carina smiles softly at her, holding back her tears.

"It's ok, i was just leaving" she didn't even look at me before walking out. As soon as she left, I let out a scream. Amelia grabs me in her arms. 

**The rest of the night…(3am)**

We spent the rest of the night doing more shots. Vicky left with Andy. Amelia and I stayed till closing. I was more drunk then the rest of us, i could barely walk so Amelia brought me back home and crashed on the couch.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**9am…**

When I woke up, the first thing I smelled was coffee and bacon. I groan painfully before I get out of bed. I brush my teeth and just put a long tee on before I make my way downstairs.

"Good morning drunk ass" Amelia smirks and hands me my cup of coffee.

"Oh my god" I wince in pain and she chuckles. I sit down on the counter, crossing my legs.

"Yea, well you should have gone easy on the drinks last night" she raises an eyebrow. I roll my eyes and take a sip from my coffee.

"At least i'm not the one who was fucking some girl in the bathroom" i snort.

"Actually, 2 " she smirks.

"Oh you little slut" I punched her on the arm.

"I'm single, i can have all the fun that i want" i laugh.

"Speaking of...single. I know you don't want to talk about it. But, Carina" she asks and I sigh, looking down at the floor.

"I really don't know where we stand at the moment...it been 5 fucking months Amelia. She won't talk to me, answer my texts. She's avoiding me at work...argh!" She sits beside me.

"Well, maybe you should consider going to therapy after all"I open my mouth to retort but she stops me with a glare.

"Let.me.finish"

"You should consider going to therapy. I know your mom is the last person you want to see on earth and believe me, I get it...but you don't have to shut down Carina for that. You go to that therapy, you let everything out. And then, just walk away. That's it" i laugh bitterly.

"Sounds easy but it's not. She lied to me my whole life. She kept things from me and she betrayed me on so many levels! I'm not ready for that and i'm better off without her" i spit.

"Are you? Because you, pushing Carina out because of the situation with your mom, is not helping. You have to fix yourself in order to be with Carina before she moves on" i glare at her.

"Is there something you want to tell me about Carina that i should know!?" She stares at me in the eyes and stands up.

"Euh...i have to go take a shower. Catch up later" and before I could catch her she ran inside the bathroom. I frowned to myself; so many questions were running through my mind about what she said.

**3 Months later…**

I started to go to therapy with my mom. I forced myself to do so and i don't fucking know why. It has been 3 months since I started. Everything was going good, we were having a small convo but nothing more than 10 words. But today, i was in a very bad mood because of work and then when i showed up at therapy, my sister Betty was sitting beside my mom

"What is she doing here? This therapy is not about the three of us" i mumble coldly.

"Please have a sit Ms. Bishop and we we'll talk about this" Mr. Vera explains and I scoff before sitting down.

"Hey, Maya...been a long time" she says softly and i laugh coldly 

"No shit, Betty" I sneer and she looks away. 

"Darling, no need to be rude." I glare at her.

"We were doing just fine with the two of us and now you had to bring her into this! That's why I never wanted to start this little shitty therapy with you!" I yell.

"Maya, I'm gonna say this one last time ; you need to stop this behaviour or I will have to make security escort you outside" she warns. I shake my head as I look away.

"Good, now shall we begin?"

**1 hour later…**

**"** NO! YOU NEVER CARED ABOUT ME! IT WAS ALWAYS BETTY THIS BETTY THAT!YOU WERE NEVER THERE FOR ME WHEN I NEEDED YOU THE MOST!" I scream with rage. And I can tell she looks scared.

"You think it was easy for me? If i could go back i would" she cries. I stand up and laugh bitterly. 

"Oh, cuz now you want to play the victim." 

"She didn't have a choice, Maya. It was hard for all of us" Betty retorts.

"What was hard for you guys? You didn't suffer like I did!I suffered my whole life, realizing that mom didn't love me like she loved you! I had to deal with my pains by my fucking self. Because mommy here was never there and as for you, at some point you just stop caring" i yell, tears rolling down my cheeks.

"So now tell me, how are we supposed to fix what's already broken?" I asked and the room fell in silence. 

"I think we will stop this session for today" Ms. Vera noted.

"Good idea...i'm out of here" i avoid looking at anyone as i grab my jacket and walk out of the room.

**Joe's bar…**

Since therapy, I've been sitting at the bar since 3pm. Drinking every pain away. I got a few calls from the girls and my sister but I ignored them and turned off my phone. It was now 11pm and I can tell you right now that I was very drunk. I paid the bartender and stood up, ready to leave but a familiar voice stopped me.

"You've been drinking...you shouldn't drive like that" she says softly, grabbing the keys from my pocket. I chuckle.

"Here you are to save the day...after 8 months of silence. Really Carina" she shrugs her shoulders.

"I had my reason. I'm bringing you home " i didn't have the strength to fight so I stumbled to the exit.

"Whatever" I mumble.

*****

She brought me back home. As she unlocked the door, I took the opportunity and kissed her. She kissed me back for a few seconds before she pulled away grabbing both of my arms.

"We...i...i can't do this anymore"she shakes head, pulling away. I frown.

"Do what? Kiss me? We never said we were breaking up"

"I think it was pretty obvious since the day you show up at my house" she hisses.

"Are you fucking someone else already?" I say coldly, looking at her in the eyes. She looks away.

"You're drunk and I'm going home" she turns around to leave but I block her way.

"Who is it?For someone who wanted me to go to therapy, you have a good way of showing love" i say loudly. 

"This is none of your business,Maya! Now, get out of my way!" She pushes and I stumble.

"Yea. That's ok, you can go fuck whoever you want!i could care less!" I scream as she walks down the stairs. I slammed my door and started to throw everything that was on my way, on the floor. 

  
  
  
  



	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

I groan in pain, holding my head as I sit up. It took me 10 good minutes before I was able to get out of bed. I walked to the bathroom, took a long shower before walking downstairs. I grab my keys and an apple from the counter before walking out the house for work. I knew I was already 1 hour late but I didn't care.

As soon as I walked inside the hospital, Amelia spotted me and started to make her way toward me. She followed me to the locker room.

"Good morning" she hands me a coffee. I shake my head and mumble something.

"Hey" I say as I unlock my locker.

"Where were you last night? We tried to reach you" she asks. I remove my pants and shirt before I turn to look at her.

"I...i had therapy, which didn't end up well and finished the rest of the day alone"she frowns before she gives me my uniform.

"I guess you passed out from drinking...you know, this morning I had to cover up for you again" I sigh and I nod.

I'm sorry, you shouldn't have to do this. I don't want to bring you in the middle of my problems ``I mumble, closing the door from my locker. She grabs my arm.

"Hey, don't worry about this. Remember, I'll always have your back" she says softly and I chuckle.

"Yea, i know.

**3 hours later…**

" you need to put MORE pressure on the wound or we're gonna lose her!" I scream to the intern. Some of the nurses were looking at me. 

"T-that's...what i'm trying to -" i push her out of the way and keep putting pressure on the patient.

"Mike I need your help now she's gonna need blood transfusion. She's losing too much blood" i explain.

"Right away, Dr. Bishop" and he ran. While I was holding the wound I turned to the intern, staring at her with rage.

"You. Get out of my ER" She stares at me in shock before she removes her gloves and walks away.

**15 minutes later**

I lost my patient. A 5 years old girl. Can you feel all the pain, sadness and madness I am feeling right now? I look at the time before I turn to look at the dead body.

"Time of death 2:45pm" I whisper, removing my gloves. I pushed the door open as I walked out from the ER . As soon as I reached my office I wanted to reach, I started to cry. 5 minutes passed before I heard a soft knock on my door. I stand up and whip my eyes.

"Dr.Bishop, sorry to euh...interrupt but Dr.Bailey would like to see you in her office right away" he says awkwardly. I nod before I walk out.

**Bailey's office**

As soon as I reach the door, I see Bailey, Max and...Carina. I frown with confusion. I guess she must have feel it because she looks away.

" Please, have a seat Dr.Bishop," he said and I shook my head.

"No, I'm good," Bailey sighs.

"We received multiple complaints early today about-" i laugh bitterly.

"What? The intern already ran to you to complain about me because she wasn't doing her job correctly and I kicked her out of my ER. She glares at me.

"Well, can you blame her? You see, Bishop, this is not the only complaint we are having about you. You are the Chief of this departement. Your job is to teach them what is wrong or good. To help and make them understand if they are doing something bad. Screaming and kicking them out is not the way of being a leader" Max explains. I clenched my jaw but didn't respond.

"What happened?" There. I turn to look at her. We stare at each other. She was trying to read me.

"I get that you're the Director of my departement but I have nothing to say to you. So you can shove your question up on your ass!" I spit out, holding back my tears. She stares at me in shock, hurt and madness.

"Ok, that's enough! This king of behavior won't be accepted in my hospital. Talking to your boss like that is unacceptable. You are suspended until further notice" Bailey yells my eyes wides in shock.

"You...you can't be serious. I need this job" 

"Well, you should have thought about that before. If you think that i'm only suspended you for what happened today, you are wrong. You are late almost everyday, showing up like a mess. Is it inappropriate! What kind of example are you giving to your team?" Max adds. I laugh bitterly before I open the door and walk out. 

"MAYA! Wait!" Carina yells down the hallway.

"Stay the hell away from me!" I scream before I make my way to the locker room. I open the door with a loud bang. The people who were there jump in shock. Including Amelia and Vicky. I open my lock, grabbing and shoving all my stuff in my back. I could feel my friend's eyes on me. But they didn't interrupt me.

**At home( 9pm)**

Being suspended from my work. My passion, the only thing that can keep me from losing my mind, is right now a nightmare. I drop my stuff on the floor before I make my way to the bathroom to take a bath. When I was done, I put on some lotion and dressed up with an oversize shirt before I made my way downstairs to cook something. My phone kept beeping but I just wanted to be left alone so I closed it. 30 minutes later, I hear the doorbell ring. I sigh before I make my way to the door.

"What are you doing here?" 

"I'm not here to fight...i just wanna talk" she whispered softly. A part of me wanted to slam the door on her face but I let her in. She walks in, looking around.

"Nice house...and it smells good" I roll my eyes before I make my way back to the kitchen. Me who didn't feel like drinking today, well changes of plan. I grab a bottle of whisky and pour two glasses. I give her one and she smiles softly.

"You still remember my favorite" she takes a sip before she sits down.

"Yea, well we're still sisters...now why are you here?" I ask tiredly. I take a sip from my drink before I grab two plates.

"What? A sister can't have a moment with her sister after all these years ``I snorted as I put some salad on her plate.

"I'm really not in the mood today, Betty. If you are here to give me one of your excuses, i don't want to hear it" i say coldly and she sighs. She swallows the rest of her drink before she grabs the bottle and fills up her glass again. I stop what I was doing and stare at her. 

"I...erm…" she stares at her drink.

"Betty...what is going on?" I press. She raises her head to look at me, her eyes full of tears. I might hate her for what happened in the past but a part of me will always care and love her.

"Please, promise me that whatever happened , you will always stay by my side?" I look at her nervously.

"I'm not sure i can do this till i know what is going on." She smiles softly. But a smile that didn't reach her eyes. She swallows the rest of her second glass before she stands up. She grabs me in her arms before she whispers something in my ear. We stood there in the middle of the kitchen, my legs almost giving up. Thank god we were holding each other.   
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
